Comments on: Grieving a Child, Son or Daughter

By: Smilies

Smilies — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:47:59 +0000

I would say the hell with everybody else and worry about the child. You shouldn’t be greiving about your daughter’s death. You should actually be celebrating her life instead. If you show all the greiving and pain and all those bad feelings, then it will pretty much destroy the child. You need to think of how the child would feel if you "didn’t go on". She would pretty much have nobody left in the world who loves and cares and treats her good
like you do. So please think about the child and how she would feel before you do anything rashional!! Best of Luck!!
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By: Pamela B

Pamela B — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:45:59 +0000

There is so much loving concern being expressed to you here, and I want to add my support to you, and to acknowledge all the wonderful suggestions that precede my note.

I believe the key to your recovery is that baby girl. And I agree that you must allow yourself to grieve. The 15-minute idea sounds very applicable to you in your situation. If you can’t do 15, then do 10 minutes. I wonder if reading the story of Coretta Scott King’s experience recovering from the loss of her husband may help you. She was one of the strongest women this world has ever seen.

Can you keep a journal? Not only will it help you, I believe, but it may also help you in your custody battle.

Finally, I have battled depression and suicidal thoughts, and learned this. Many people advised me to take it "one day at a time," but this was far too overwhelming to me, so I broke it down to "one minute at a time," and sometimes, all I could manage was "One Breath In, One Breath Out." That mantra carried me through many days. Thoughts of how my son did not deserve to lose his mother to suicide got me through the nights.

I hope with all my heart that something that has been said here will ring true for you. We wish you and your granddaughter happy, loving days.
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By: xx_myself93

xx_myself93 — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:43:59 +0000

Your daughter is in heaven, looking down at you, giving you what you need. Your grand daughter needs you. Just try to think that your grand daughter is your daughter. I wish you the best in everything.
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By: inspirationalwritingqueen

inspirationalwritingqueen — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:41:59 +0000

STAY STRONG AND HANG IN THERE!! Prayer definitely works. Contact your church or any church for prayer. When all else fails trust in God. He will bring you through. Do not give up. The baby needs you and you need her.
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By: Sundra G

Sundra G — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:39:59 +0000

I wish I could say I can sympathize with you, but the closes I ever got to that was when I suffered from depression, which sounds like you may have it also sounds like you love that little girl very much. What helped me through my depression, and may help you get through the day, is always the children. Live the day if not for you for them. I know it may seem hard, but get out of the home and go for a walk, make her laugh, play stupid little game with her, and when she goes to bed make sure you have time for yourself to start the grieving process. In time the heart will heal and so will the hollowness inside. Let the little girl work her magic and bring you joy that you so much deserve. P.S. I am so sorry to hear about your loss and I wish I could do more for you.
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By: Eva C

Eva C — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:37:59 +0000

My heart goes out to you. You seem like a strong guy, keep doing what you know is right.
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By: Mr Bellows

Mr Bellows — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:35:59 +0000

I am VERY sorry for your loss.I do not have children so I cannot even begin to know how you feel.I lost 2 dear friends in the last two years.One of them took his own life.I have been second guessing myself now for 2 years over what I could have done different to prevent it.He left behind two kids.A son who turns 16 in a few days and a daughter who is 19 and has gone off the deep end.I have become friends with his ex wife and her new husband.I knew him for 10 years and watched his kids grow up.I have been a friend to his son the last two years and I think I have helped.I think the best thing I can do is to be there as much as i can for him.You need to be strong for your granddaughter and be there for her.I will not pretend to know your pain but mine was and still is tough to deal with.It will never go away but time will help you deal with it better.At the same time you are helping your granddaughter she will be helping you.You can go on.You must go on.I still cry once in a while about my buddy(it was the anniversary of his death last wednesday) but it does get easier with time.I know this is probably of little comfort to you but it sounds like you have a very good reason to go on.And go on you must,for your daughter and hers.GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!
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By: sassy4you

sassy4you — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:33:59 +0000

well first of all i want to say i know what your going through in a way…. i lost a child ..so i am not going to sit here and say just anything cause knowing from experience as nice as it all may sound it doesnt always help…. just that your not alone!!!!! i feel your pain and its a pain that CAN’T be explained….. something i wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy …….. but i can say this my son passed away 9 years ago and at first i couldnt greive i had other children to take care of ………… big mistake cause it came back to bite me BIGTIME!!!!!!!! grieve now and dont be afraid to … your daughter is in heaven and as long as you continue to have faith …. evrything thing will fall in to place ….she wouldn’t have it any other way!!!!!!!

GOD BLESS YOU AND THAT CHILD
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experience…. lost a child

By: rkilburn410

rkilburn410 — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:31:59 +0000

Yes you will because a defenceless child is at risk, she as well has lost her mother, and no show dad. and now is going to have to count on you to be there for her, I am sure your daughter would have you going on a picnic with her daughter, then spending the afternoon crying because she isn't there, It was not her idea to die so do not blame her, you raised her as best as you could so now do the same for her daughter
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By: T Time

T Time — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:29:59 +0000

When you're hurting, hold that baby close
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